“We Knew How It Felt to Hide a Vibrator—We Wanted to Change That Experience” The Founders of sitre on Intimacy, Wellness and the Importance of Chic Lube
Alice Hartwell
An interview with Julie Herskin and Cecilie Hjelmager, the co-founders of Danish intimacy brand sitre.
Sex, famously, is everywhere. But talking about it? That’s an entirely different story. One that Copenhagen-born intimacy brand sitre is looking to rewrite through a wellness lens.
On a mission to bring a refreshingly considered approach to pleasure, its thoughtful formulas and design-led products are ones you won’t need to worry about getting “caught” on your bedside table.
Here, its founders discuss where modern intimacy and wellness meet, why we still find it so difficult to talk about sex and a few things everyone should know about lube.
Meet the Founders of sitre
Julie Herskin and Cecilie Hjelmager are the co-founders of sitre, a Danish intimacy brand founded in Copenhagen in 2021.
Drawing on their own experiences, they set out to create the products they felt were missing in the modern intimacy space: thoughtful formulas, beautiful objects and an honest, unembarrassed approach.
What began with rethinking lubricant has grown into a wider collection of intimate care, massage oils, candles and, most recently, their first vibrator, New Heights.
On What Was Missing in the Modern Intimacy Space When Starting sitre
Products that made us feel good about using them, and a language we could see ourselves in.
For Julie, it began with needing a lubricant and suddenly feeling as though something was wrong with her body.
Her partner wondered whether he was doing something wrong, too. The products available didn’t help: they felt either medical or overly explicit, and became something to hide away.
Cecilie hadn’t really considered lubricant because she assumed it was only for people who “needed” it. Later, a stressful experience made her think differently about wellbeing and how connected our physical and emotional lives are.
“We came to sitre from different places, but shared the same question: ‘Why did something so natural so often come with products that made us feel uncomfortable?’”
On Why We Find It So Difficult to Talk About Sex
Many of us grow up learning how to avoid the consequences of sex, without learning how to talk about how it feels. We’re taught about pregnancy and infections, but much less about desire, changing needs or how to tell someone what we enjoy.
At the same time, sex is everywhere in culture. That can create an odd pressure: we’re expected to be comfortable with it, even when we’ve never been given the words to have an honest conversation.
Talking about intimacy also means allowing yourself to be seen. Saying “I’d like this” or “that doesn’t feel right” can feel vulnerable, especially when you worry it will be taken as criticism. We think that disconnect starts to soften when those conversations become ordinary, something you can have with curiosity and kindness.
On Intimacy as a Form of Wellness
We recognise intimacy as a part of life that deserves care and attention. We make space for sleep, movement and skincare, but often expect connection and desire to happen spontaneously, whatever else is going on.
“It can be very simple. Noticing how you feel, making time for touch, or being honest with a partner about what you have the energy for. Sometimes it means exploring something new. Sometimes it means taking pressure off completely.”
We’re careful about turning intimacy into another thing to optimise. Nobody needs another routine to perform perfectly. We want to make more room for feeling, connection and enjoyment, in whatever form makes sense for you.
On the Misconceptions We Need to Leave Behind
One common misconception we’d like to leave behind is that using something to support pleasure means your body, or your relationship, isn’t enough.
We hear this particularly around lubricant and vibrators. There’s this feeling that they’re compensating for something, when they can simply add another sensation or make an experience more comfortable.
You don’t have to earn the right to use a product by having a problem first. Wanting to explore or make something feel even better is reason enough.
On What You Should Know About Lube
That you don’t need to be experiencing dryness to enjoy it, and that using it says nothing about how attracted you are to someone.
Natural lubrication can vary, and it isn’t a reliable measure of desire. But even when you feel well lubricated, adding a lubricant can create a different glide and make touch feel even better, whether you’re alone, with a partner or using a device.
We also wish people knew how different lubricants can feel. Texture matters. Some people love a soft, water-based gel that blends with the body’s own moisture; others prefer the lasting glide of silicone.
Finding one you enjoy can completely change how you think about the category.
On Making sitre “Bedside Table” Friendly
We knew how it felt to hide a product away, and wanted to change that experience.
Beauty and skincare have shown how much the whole experience matters: the formula, texture, packaging and how something feels in your hands. We felt intimate products deserved that same attention, particularly because they’re used on sensitive skin and in personal moments.
We wanted someone to feel comfortable leaving sitre beside their skincare or on their bedside table. Design can quietly change your relationship with an object. If you enjoy looking at it and reaching for it, it becomes easier to welcome it into everyday life.
On Changing the Way the Next Generation Thinks About Sex
We’d want them to grow up with the language to express what they feel, without shame.
That includes being able to say yes, no, I’m curious, I’ve changed my mind, or I don’t know yet. It also includes understanding that their needs won’t necessarily look like someone else’s, and may change over time.
We’d love for conversations about intimacy to include comfort, pleasure and communication alongside safety. When you understand that your feelings matter, it becomes easier to respect both yourself and the person you’re with.
On Releasing a Very Chic Vibrator
New Heights was something we wanted to create from very early on. We could see how devices could help people explore their bodies and communicate what they enjoyed, but we struggled to find one we felt drawn to.
We wanted to create an object that invited curiosity, something you’d want to hold, touch and leave on your bedside table.
That led us to an organic, asymmetrical shape with different curves, surfaces and tips. Each offers a different kind of contact, so you can explore broad touch or something more precise. Its genderless form was important to us: we wanted it to invite exploration across different bodies, alone or with a partner.
We paired that shape with deep, quiet vibrations and a real smoky quartz crystal inside the transparent tip. Smoky quartz is traditionally associated with grounding and presence, which felt connected to the experience we wanted to invite.
“Our early encounters with vibrators were often in the context of a joke gift. Or with devices that felt artificial or almost alien, rather than like something we wanted close to our bodies.”
Discover the full sitre range at shopstire.com
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